Thursday, January 3, 2013
<p>A few family members asked me to post the words I said during Steve's funeral. Here is what I wrote and tried my best to deliver on Monday morning:</p>
<p>Today I planned to stand here and tell you all about Steve. About how funny, and quirky, and loving he was. How his favorite bands included the Beach Boys, Bruce Springsteen and the Spice Girls. How he was equally versed in Steven King, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the Sopranos. Steve's interests – and particularly his knowledge -- knew no bounds.</p>
<p>But these are things, that if you knew Steve, you're already aware of.</p>
<p>Where I have some unique perspective is Steve as a father. </p>
<p>Unlike most father-son relationships, Steve and I skipped the little boy, awe-struck dad phase. We jumped right into the grumpy, cynical teenage boy, awe struck dad phase. I'll always remember, on a rather mundane day, Steve was giving me a ride to work. I'm sure I'd set a new record for fewest spoken words in a 5 minute car ride, and when we got to Drug Fair he said to me, "Ronnie, I'm not here to replace your dad. I'm here to be your friend." Like always, Steve knew just the right words, said at just the right time. In hindsight, it set the tone for our relationship for the next 20 years.</p>
<p>As a father, Steve taught us how to love. Just watching the way he has treated our mom is an inspiration. He treated her like a queen from the minute they began their lives together right until the end. More recently, his love for his grandsons Lucas, Philip and Logan is something to behold. </p>
<p>Steve was also the king of offering advice, and was never afraid to build up our confidence. There will never be another person in my life who can so subtly guide me on matters of love, relationships, career decisions, and of course, politics. Just kidding, although I think if he was around four more years he'd have swung back to the right – Did you know he was a big-time Nixon supporter? Neither did I, until yesterday!!!</p>
<p>Seriously though, Steve and I used to have our 2 a.m. phone conversations when I'd be leaving my shift at the Trenton Times. He'd be up doing bowling results or reading his four daily newspapers or catching up on old TV shows. I miss those days, and wonder if we'd ever gotten so close if text messaging was around back then. </p>
<p>We would often meet for lunch. The Court Jester was one of our favorites and we'd eat buffalo wings and talk about work, and life. It was never as profound as that might sound. It was relaxed, it was comfortable. Whenever something significant was happening in my career, it was usually because Steve had urged me to take a chance, to be aggressive about pursuing something way above my current level. In true Steve fashion, when I recently took a job at Newsmax, a news and politics website that leans exactly opposite of Steve's political leanings, I shouldn't have been shocked when he was already on their email list and was able to tell me as much about them as I'd learned in the interview process.</p>
<p>Steve's interests were so diverse, and his enjoyment of the spoken word were unmatched. Rarely did we agree on anything. On politics we were oil and water. On Rutgers athletics, he was the eternal optimist and I kept suggesting they shut the program down. If he was a Giants fan, I was a Jets fan. Since we were a family of Yankee fans and he liked the Orioles, he just gave up on baseball. </p>
<p>Until this week, I thought we just had a different perspective on the world. But now I realize, both Steve and I found it boring to sit and talk and agree with one another. We're probably incredibly moderate on politics. Until talking to one another. I root as hard for Rutgers as anyone, until I had to bring Steve's wildly high hopes back to earth. When it came to baseball, well, I think he made the right decision there. Tough being an Orioles fan in a house of Yankees.</p>
<p>I mentioned Steve's ability to guide and advise on matters of the heart. Steve always had this gentle way of saying the right thing. He never pried. He never asked about so-and-so. Yet when I would need advice, I rarely even had to ask, he'd be able read my mind. </p>
<p>I can't remember how it all came together, but I knew I had his approval when he first met my wife, Angi. Over time, I've often joked that he likes her a lot more than me. The two of them can sit for hours at family functions. They talk about obscure TV shows. Who should win the Oscar for best makeup. Some new Hollywood gossip about someone I couldn't believe Steve's even heard of. Basically, anything I have absolutely no interest in, they'll discuss endlessly. It's always been great for me, and meant I could focus on football or whatever was on the TV. But yet I've always wondered, why would they want to talk about this mundane nonsense when they could be listening to a shot-by-shot recap of my latest round of golf?!? </p>
<p>All that has gotten me thinking though. My God, did I marry the female version of Steve? They say you marry your mother, and Angi's got the taking care of me part down pat. But then I realize how many wonderful qualities she shares with Steve and think how lucky I am to have her for the rest of my life. Now I know how my mom's felt all these years.</p>
<p>20 years ago, Steve found our family. </p>
<p>He joined us when we needed someone to guide us. </p>
<p>When we needed someone to pick us up and show us what love is. </p>
<p>When my brother Cory and I needed a real role model, someone we could watch treat our mom right. A man who would mentor us, guide us as we started careers and families of our own. </p>
<p>A man who would love us like his own sons, and a man whose true joy in the world was to hold his grandsons. </p>
<p>Steve has left us, but the lessons he left behind never will. </p>
<p>His legacy, as a husband, a father and a grandfather, will live on. Not only in our family but in all those he's touched through the years. </p>
<p>Thank you Steve, for making me the man, the husband and the father I am today. </p>
<p>I will miss you dearly. </p>
<p>I love you.</p>
